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Being gay in Greensboro, North Carolina, is pretty simple: The LGBT community is small, so people like who they like, explained Robin, a year-old black lesbian who was taken aback when she relocated to Atlanta a few years ago. For starters, Atlanta women were into labels.

Further, those labels limited socially acceptable couples to one type — a butch and a femme.

Heteronormative gender roles are a signature of lesbian circles, influencing everything from body language to hairstyle. In the love department, dapper studs date sultry femmes, according to decades-old cultural rules that have a particularly strong foothold among black LGBT women. More masculine-presenting black lesbians are embracing the idea of romance between butch women.

Stud for stud — or S4S — women are showing up on TV shows, forming online groups and openly turning their backs on rules that looiing Ms. Right must carry a purse.

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Insiders say such relationships are old news among whites. But in black circles, where strict ideas of what it means to be a lesbian prevail, Singls evolution is causing celebration and controversy. Photo courtesy Kai Brown. The hit film has sparked spirited discussions at showings in Atlanta and across the country.

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For black lesbians, masculinity has long meant carefully mimicking black males. Generations later, many black lesbians continue to closely mirror cisgender men, even down to their homophobia, back Washington, D. She recently wrote about her own experience being approached by a fellow stud for the Black Lesbian Love Lab blog.

The article drew several comments illustrating how touchy the topic remains.

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For some black gay women already facing a trifecta of potential sources of discrimination, flying in the Single black stud looking for a femmi of established community norms can seem overwhelming, said Blacck Moore of Decatur. Many women want to seem more palatable to the greater black community, still largely coming to terms with LGBT men and women in general, said Kai Brown, a vocal advocate for S4S visibility from Washington, D.

Harsh comments and even violence motivated Brown to become increasingly vocal. There are signs that attitudes are thawing. In Atlanta, Robin said the S4S scene is still pretty underground.

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She mostly meets women through word of mouth — approaching in a nightclub is a little risky — or online. In Atlanta. They are hiding.

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They are sexually frustrated. They act single, or just say they are single to get what they want, then never call. Or some are even bold enough to tell the truth.

Some folks have no conscious, I do.

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Some days, it makes me want to only date white women for that reason. I swear…i hated it.

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The s4s couple. They made it seem like every s4s couple does nothing but wear fitteds, trade boxers, wear jerseys, sag their pants, and act like men. I never sag my pants.

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I buy belts to keep my clothes up where they belong. These young studs dream of getting slayed by her and throw bpack at her.

There is so much more that could have been written. Those are groups. IG shoutout pages are all about looks.

The more you talk about sex, the more people will flock to you. There are so many rules to dating these days. Mainly US!

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'Stud for stud' and the evolution of black Atlanta lesbian dating

Yet a low rumble of change is growing louder. But this is just my humble opinion. Leave a Reply Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published.